Making A Difference While none of the original memebers in our band have been direct victims of domestic violence, we do have friends who have been abused. Their stories became the foundation of our song Lena. During the song-writing process, we researched the issue of domestic abuse extensively, and came to understand its widespread existence and serious indirect effects. When our current vocalist Marissa Mendenhall has joined the band, she became the first band memeber with a personal experience of domestic violence.
We also came to realize how often people say things like: "Hey, this problem doesn't affect me," or, "My kids have a good home and a loving family." But the problem is that so many unfortunate children are not growing up under loving and respectful conditions, and these same kids are more likely to continue the abusive pattern as teens, and later as adults. You could be dating one of them. Or if you are a parent, your child's boyfriend or girlfriend could have grown up in an abusive household, and doesn't know how to treat a partner with respect. That's why we all need to take this issue seriously, and why we've tried to convey these themes in our song "Lena".
It's also not just physical — just because a person isn't battered and bruised doesn't mean he or she is not being abused. Many men and women suffer daily from torment of a different kind — emotional abuse. Victims may feel depressed, unworthy, or anxious around their partner, leading to a sense of great unhappiness. They may be unaware that these feelings come from the abusive behaviors of their partner, such as constant criticism, humiliation, playing mind games and other controlling behavior. What's more, they don't outwardly see themselves as victims, in much the same way as abusers do not see themselves as being abusive. Emotional abuse hurts just as deeply and needs to be given a voice.
- 1 in every 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.
- There are 16,800 homicides and $2.2 million (medically treated) injuries due to intimate partner violence annually.
- Nearly 7.8 million women have been raped by an intimate partner at some point in their lives.
- Witnessing violence between one's parents is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next.
- 1 in 5 teens who have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by a partner.
- 1 in 3 girls who have been in a serious relationship say they’ve been concerned about being physically hurt by their partner.
- 1 in 4 teens who have been in a serious relationship say that a boyfriend or girlfriend has tried to prevent them from spending time with friends or family; the same number have been pressured to only spend time with their partner.
- Nearly 1 in 4 girls who have been in a relationship (23%) reported going further sexually than they wanted to as a result of pressure.
